


Fight to the Death

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Donuts, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Fight to the Death

Sometimes when paperwork was truly boring and everyone needed power to get through the day, the team would gather all their random pens and papers and computers and go into the round table room, that way they’d be able to randomly bullshit with each other and help the time go by. Today was one of those days, which by the way, also consisted of copious amounts of sugar food and drink as fuel, and numerous hands reached into the box at the same time.

“How are we out of donuts already?” Spencer asked, his voice tinged with a hint of panic. How the fuck were they supposed to get through the rest of this paperwork without fuel? “Did we seriously eat a dozen donuts already?”

“A dozen between all of us isn’t that much,” Luke said as he motioned around the room. 

Tara snorted. Everyone’s hands were also still near the remaining donut. No one had moved. It was a careful dance, and everyone was very aware of their partners. “Amateurs, I could’ve eaten this dozen donuts by myself if you gave me a couple of hours.”

“So who gets the last one?” JJ asked. Her eyes were glazed over, much like the donut. “One…two…three…me!” She inched her fingers closer to the donut, much like Henry did when he was trying to sneak food. 

“I should have it.”

“No, I should.”

“Wrong. The answer is I should have it,” Emily said. “I’m unit chief.”

“You’re gonna pull that card?” JJ laughed. “Nice.”

Rossi and Stephen glanced at each other from opposite ends of the table, mouths agape and eyes scrunched up in confusion. “Really?” Rossi asked quietly. “Are we doing this? It’s a donut.”

“We can go and get more,” Stephen said, his low baritone just completely 110 percent done with the team’s bullshit. “This is like me dealing with my kids when I was younger. Did I gain new children I didn’t know about?”

“Apparently,” Rossi replied. Emily, JJ, Penelope, Tara, Luke and Spencer all continued to stare at each other. “And if that’s the case who’s Mom and who’s Dad?”

“Rossi, what decade are we in, we don’t need a Mom and a Dad. We’re both dads.”

The oldest agent in the room sat back in his chair, sighing exasperatedly as he spun around. “Now this is an actual conversation we’re having? We aren’t parents. None of you are children,” he said, pointing in six different directions before landing on Spencer. “Not even you! This is a donut.”

“But in all actuality, it should be mine because it’s chocolate-frosted with sprinkles and that’s my favorite,” Spencer said, completely ignoring Rossi and focusing fully on the delicious treat still surrounded by greedy fingers.

“That is absolutely faulty logic,” Garcia said. “You’ve already had one. JJ and I only split one. Tara had one, so that’s three, which means that Emily, newbie, Rossi and Stephen split the other nine. I’d say the fight is between Spencer, myself, JJ and Tara.”

Tara’s stomach grumbled. Sure a donut wasn’t a meal, but she was really hungry. Spencer’s hand crept closer to the food and she smacked it. “You had the last donut.”

“That was my only one! I’m hungry!”

“I’m hungry too!” she yelled. “You took the last one, so I’ll share it with you, or I’m going to challenge you to a fight to the death for it. I will win.” She gritted her teeth and looked down - it was gone. “Where’d it go!?”

Every pair of eyes followed a small trail of sprinkles toward the side of the table, where Rossi was currently licking his thumbs of the last remnants of frosting. “You snooze, you lose,” he said, his mouth still filled with pastry. “That was my third by the way.”

“I am going to kill you,” Tara said, her stomach growling again, even louder than before. Her eyes could practically spit fire. Even Rossi looked scared. He stood up and backed away, the growling in Tara’s stomach like a hungry bear that was about to viciously murder him.

Rossi back up into the wall. This is what lack of food, too much paperwork, and an intimately close proximity did to a team. A fight to the death would occur. “I can order us some pizza,” he said softly.

“Two pizzas,” Tara said. “And you pay.”

“Deal.”

Tara extended her hand, a silent agreement to spare his life, because let’s face it, she would’ve eaten him alive. Literally. While he went to order some pizza, Tara clenched her hands around her stomach and sat back down. She really was unbelievably hungry. 

As smoothly as his voice, Stephen pulled another donut out of nowhere. “I’ve been saving this one. It’s my favorite.” Tara looked up, desperate for food, but her eyes were met with a plain donut. No glaze. No nothing. Arguably the worst donut unless you had coffee, which they’d also run out of. “I’ve been waiting for a while, because I haven’t been hungry, but I think I want to eat some of it now.”

Before the confection had even made its way to his mouth, Tara lunged across the table and grabbed it, taking an enormous bite. “You were teasing me and I’m hungry!” She yelled. “That’s what you get!”


End file.
